Mother’s Day….bittersweet

I spent Friday evening at one of my closest’s friend’s home. She is also my prayer partner and for two years we prayed for her to conceive a child. Her precious baby girl was born Feb 2009 and March 2009, just a month later, was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, cancer of the eye that had spread back to her little brain. This new mother spent the first year of motherhood in and out of the hospital with her child for chemo treatments, blood transfusions and other illnesses. A year later her little ray of sunshine has a prosthetic eye, wears glasses and hearing aids but she is full of life and adorable. Still on a lot of meds and many doctors visits and therapy visits. It keeps this young mother busy. Right now her husband is in school in TX for many weeks and Friday night this mother was worn out from carrying this load alone. Bittersweet.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with another very close friend who is in remission from leukemia. She thought she would never be able to have a child of her own. She and her husband just recently adopted an adorable little girl who they have fostered for a couple of years now.It has been a very tough battle for them with this adoption but their perseverance paid off and this cherished little girl now carries their last name and calls them mommy and daddy. The three of them just fit together. This mother to this sweet little girl that is now legally hers found out 5 years to the day she was diagnosed with cancer that she was carrying her own child. It’s another little girl and so far everything is going great. This baby girl is due on the day that this mother will be pronounced cancer free, June 3, 2010. Bittersweet.

Last evening a very special young  new friend came over for dinner and after we ate we sat out on the front porch in rocking chairs covered in blankets to knock the slight chill of our bodies. We had my two “girls” (dogs) lying around our feet and we sat out there talking for several hours. Precious time spent together. Her fourth wedding anniversary is the 27th of this month. She and her husband were excited about working on starting their family this month. She found him laying underneath a four wheeler in a field across from their home the first day of spring in March. She watched his casket being laid in the ground a few days later. bittersweet.

A few weeks ago I was prompted to do something I have never done before. I figured out the ages of the four babies that I had  conceived over the years. My children would be 40, 39,37,34.  I might have been a grandmother today! Boy, I pondered that for quite a while and still do once in a while. I wonder what they would all be like, look like, be doing today and what kind of mother I would have been to them. I wonder where they all would be living. I know 2 of them were girls, I wonder if the others were boys. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when I was 33 years old so no children of my own for me. I’ve had the privilege of being a stepmom to my husband’s two children and have experienced  all aspects of parenthood in that realm. My stepson lived with us for a few years and I got to truly play the mom role. He texted me this morning and told me Happy Mother’s Day and that he loved me. Melted my heart. Bittersweet.

Here’s the sweet part of the bittersweet….each one of us girls know one very important fact; God’s got our back. He tells us in His Word that He will never leave us or forsake us when we put our faith and trust in Him. The four of us have done just that and that is how we all have and are making it through the bittersweet of life. Fixing our eyes on Jesus and embracing His promises and love.

Bittersweet? Nah, just good ol’ sweet.