the limit of a person is the beginning of God…….

Two weekends ago my husband and I had the privilege and honor of hosting a friend I met via the internet several years ago from Shanghai, China through my sister and her husband who lived there at the time. We emailed for awhile and developed a tender friendship and we were blessed to finally get to meet in person for the first time, which was her very first time ever to the states.

Her name is Xiao Ai and she has an incredible testimony. I have asked her permission to put a small part of it on my website to share with everyone. She made such an impact on everyone I introduced to her while she visited with us.Her scarred face from a burn accident shines with the light of Jesus and touches each person she meets with a spiritual warmth.

It is my privilege to share her story with you.

The Healing of My Spirit

By Amanda Ai (Xiao Ai) 15th, Jan 1999

One day in autumn of 1990, everybody had bright, smiling faces in the morning. I knew that because it was a nice day. But weather is unpredictable. It liked a big mouth, the rain poured down from it. I was not prepared. I was washed away.

The accident happened to me on that day. As a piece of bean curd fell down on the dust, it could not be picked up again. After a few days, I was conscious of what had happened when I woke up from a coma. I found that I lost my features on my face. That was a bolt from the blue. A white-coated doctor talking to my mum by my bed, he regretted to say that I was burned very badly. I tried to look around where I could see and all of a sudden my eyes nearly could see my cheeks, because the cheeks were swelling. Second and third degree burns covered where my body was exposed. My heart was quivering again, because nothing prepared me for my changed appearance. I cried. I could not feel the tears on my cheeks. But I feel a pain from my face. The wounds on my face were cracked and bled because I cried. At same time, my heart was bleeding, too. But the anguish of spirit was much more than the anguish of body. From that time, I felt dejected, low-spirited and desperate. It was not only that I lost my features, but also lost all hope and faith in my life, I could not continue to do my job–nursing, of course. I nearly lost all my desire to continue to live.

I lived in as the darkness until I knew Him after one year. My life had big change. My faith in life was rekindled because of Him. He is Jesus Christ. He is the Savior.

I had many years of corrective surgery. I felt fear rising all the time. The costly medical expenses, the toil on the family… that’s why I decided to abandon further surgeries. But my parents always encouraged me. The surgeries were time and again. It is six full years. Six full years!!! It made me feel a struggle in my spirit. Whenever I went out, bad things usually happened, “Monster,” one person said: “She is ugly!” sneered another. The unusual eye, the uncouth eye, the scornful eye, to me likes homely meal. The other side, the scars on my face, also made me more uncomfortable. Whenever it rained or I sweated in my face, I thought suddenly “oh no, it’s washed off-my makeup.” I was really afraid to meet people, especially strangers. Whenever I am taking a bus, I was watched from all kinds of eyes. I felt I was simply an escaped convict. I could say nothing, only my eyes were wet with tears. The long time constants and nervous made me moody always. What a wretched girl I am! I was only too glad to hide my whole body. I really could not endure that. So, I got bad psychologically.

The limit of a person is the beginning of God. So, I held on to the Lord. I keep myself in prayer always. I asked my Lord to help me. I read His words and tell Him what I want. We communicate like this everyday. He makes me realize His purpose; He hears my prayers. He is my best friend. He is my helper at anytime and any place. He healed my face and my spirit. I was not sneered and insulted by Christ. I felt more love in Christ. I felt more self-confidence in Him.

I started to look for a job in the beginning of 1997. I had no special skill, also could not do nursing again. Nobody wanted to accept me to do work. This was another severe test. “Am I really an incapable person?” “Am I worthless?” “Did I have the inability to live?” I asked myself. “NO”, answered a powerful voice. It woke me up. That was Jesus. He walks with me; He talks with me. So I have stronger faith in Him. I stood up again. I tried to look for a job time and again. Finally, I got one. In fact, He had prepared for me earlier. Now I enjoy my work and I live a happy life. I feel pleased with myself. I thank my Lord. All good things are gifts from Him because He tells me, “My grace is sufficient for you.” I was healed through the treatment of the Holy Spirit. I was changed, for “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.” :- )