“this number has been discontinued”…..

I can’t stand to hear that message on the cell phone! I wish it was Rob’s voice and his message said “hey, this is Rob. I know I’m in heaven now and you are all missing me pretty bad but hey, please don’t be sad for me. I’m walking with Jesus!!”

Wow, now wouldn’t that put you in a better state of mind?! He might could go on to say that God chose to take him home at 24 years old and has His reasons for doing so and that they would be  revealed to us as we go on living on earth. (Some already have been.) He would also say that we all knew him well enough to know in his 24 years he lived life to the fullest every day and advise each of us to do the same. He would tell us that it doesn’t get any better than walking the streets of gold with our Savior and that he is really living life to the fullest now! We just think we know what that’s all about! He would tell us to get our lives right with Jesus so we can experience the same when God calls us to be with Him, don’t miss out on it, he would say.

He worked up high on steel beams as an iron worker and called his Dad all the time saying, “man, you should see the view from where I am right now!” I’m sure he would be telling us the same thing about where he is now except with words of sheer heavenly joy. He knows as humans we will grieve his loss in our lives for as long as we are still here. We will also hold on to the cherished memories of his radiant smile, his quirky sense of humor, his love for his family and friends he considered family, his kindness in helping others and never meeting a stranger.

Robert Allen Hunt, started his  life in Bitburg, Germany,then on to California, Georgia, Nebraska, Texas, Virginia and Tennessee, truly leaving a legacy every where he traveled in his 24 years. He touched many lives that will never be the same.

One of the last text I received from him as one he sent several times each week…”hey my bunny rabbit, have a good day. I love you!” I will have a good day, son, knowing where you are and who you are walking with and….I love you ,too.

As little as possible……….

At least that’s what I told a friend I would be doing this Labor Day weekend. Three days off, no driving an hour in traffic into the city for work, no getting up before the crack of dawn, no plans to be anywhere other than church on Sunday. I was all stoked for the weekend! Gonna sit on the swing on our front porch  and get carried away in a new book while sipping on a glass of iced tea as our dogs enjoying basking in the sun laying in the front yard.

Thursday afternoon on my way home from work I received a devastating call from one of my co-workers/friends that her young daughter had let their little puppy slip away from her in the front yard as my co-worker was driving up in the driveway and the puppy was run over by her wheel. The puppy died at the vet less than an hour later and the family was crushed as was I for them, knowing how much they had come to adore the precious little bundle of joy. She was a tiny thing and they had named her Sugar because their other dog’s name is Cinnamon. This puppy had been a recent gift to the family by a friend and they had just come home from getting her last set of shots at the vet and the daughter got out with the puppy to let her pee in the grass while her Mom pulled on up into the garage. She didn’t even turn the car engine off before they were all  in the car rushing back to the vet. It breaks my heart all over again just thinking about it.

Friday at work our day was dampened with a dark cloud of sadness as we all loved on our co-worker and she was expressing how her daughter was blaming herself for the death of their sweet little Sugar. As I was talking to her later that morning, unexpectedly to me these words came out from my mouth, “how about if I come over tomorrow and bake some cookies with your daughter? Do you think that would cheer her up?” I knew that the little girl loved to bake but my mind had no intentions of any such thought! Where did that come from?! That was my thought after my co-worker walked off pleased that her daughter would have that to look forward to on Saturday!

That totally did not fit into my “as little as possible” weekend! They live on the other side of Atlanta, an hour and twenty minutes from me! I would be on that route again that I was looking forward to not traveling for the next three days!

What had just happened here? What was I thinking to even let those words slip out of my mouth? This was something honestly I really did not want to do! My co-worker left early that day without us making any final plans for the next day. So I left her a message on her cell phone that pretty much left it open for me to back out of coming but she returned my call with exclamation of an excited little girl looking forward to the next day.

I woke up to a Saturday morning with completely different plans of how my day was going to turn out and thought it would all be good just go and do this and get over my selfishness. I have learned from studying God’s Word that it’s not about me anyway. As I pulled out of the driveway I retrieved the mail that had just been delivered to our box and found a note from one of the ladies I recently served with on a Tres Dias weekend.

Here is what she had written in her note, “Bunny, you have a heart for God and a heart to serve God’s people.It is a powerful combination that will allow you to minister to many who are hurting. Don’t be afraid to let God lead you into people’s lives. He has equipped you “to go there”. So many times we see things in people’s lives but we do not say anything because we “don’t want to go there”. But God has anointed you to go. He will give you the inroads, permission, wisdom and words to bring forth healing and redemption.” 

I read that card twice at the mailbox before driving off but just as I got on the main road after soaking in what I had just read, I had to pull off the road as I began to sob, realizing what had truly taken place in this situation and how God works in ways we do not see using us in unexpected ways. My new friend from the Tres Dias weekend had no idea,I’m sure, of how God was really using her as His vessel to touch my life at the perfect moment. If God had not put that on her heart at that time she may not have written those words to me in a note.If she had sent that note at any other time it would have never made the impact on my life as it did that moment. If our mail had not been delivered at that precise time I would have not heard what He meant for me to hear before I left that day. How amazing are His plans for every aspect of our lives!

After I pulled myself together, I drove that hour and twenty minutes to my co- worker’s home with my windows down embracing the day that the Lord had made, being glad and rejoicing in it! That precious young girl came out to greet me with a hug when I pulled in their driveway and I had a wonderful afternoon with her, her Mom and her brother as I got to know the kids better, play with their  sweet dog Cinnamon, get a tour of their new home and make some very tasty toffee cookie bites! As I drove out onto the main road from their subdivision later that afternoon, I had to pull of the road as I sobbed again.

What a total God experience! I was purely humbled and blessed on a day that I had planned to do as little as possible. Thank You, Father, for using me to serve You by serving others. Thank You, Father, for using my sister in Christ to reach out to me and unknowingly impact my life in such a deep tender way on a Labor Day weekend.

Mother’s Day….bittersweet

I spent Friday evening at one of my closest’s friend’s home. She is also my prayer partner and for two years we prayed for her to conceive a child. Her precious baby girl was born Feb 2009 and March 2009, just a month later, was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, cancer of the eye that had spread back to her little brain. This new mother spent the first year of motherhood in and out of the hospital with her child for chemo treatments, blood transfusions and other illnesses. A year later her little ray of sunshine has a prosthetic eye, wears glasses and hearing aids but she is full of life and adorable. Still on a lot of meds and many doctors visits and therapy visits. It keeps this young mother busy. Right now her husband is in school in TX for many weeks and Friday night this mother was worn out from carrying this load alone. Bittersweet.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with another very close friend who is in remission from leukemia. She thought she would never be able to have a child of her own. She and her husband just recently adopted an adorable little girl who they have fostered for a couple of years now.It has been a very tough battle for them with this adoption but their perseverance paid off and this cherished little girl now carries their last name and calls them mommy and daddy. The three of them just fit together. This mother to this sweet little girl that is now legally hers found out 5 years to the day she was diagnosed with cancer that she was carrying her own child. It’s another little girl and so far everything is going great. This baby girl is due on the day that this mother will be pronounced cancer free, June 3, 2010. Bittersweet.

Last evening a very special young  new friend came over for dinner and after we ate we sat out on the front porch in rocking chairs covered in blankets to knock the slight chill of our bodies. We had my two “girls” (dogs) lying around our feet and we sat out there talking for several hours. Precious time spent together. Her fourth wedding anniversary is the 27th of this month. She and her husband were excited about working on starting their family this month. She found him laying underneath a four wheeler in a field across from their home the first day of spring in March. She watched his casket being laid in the ground a few days later. bittersweet.

A few weeks ago I was prompted to do something I have never done before. I figured out the ages of the four babies that I had  conceived over the years. My children would be 40, 39,37,34.  I might have been a grandmother today! Boy, I pondered that for quite a while and still do once in a while. I wonder what they would all be like, look like, be doing today and what kind of mother I would have been to them. I wonder where they all would be living. I know 2 of them were girls, I wonder if the others were boys. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when I was 33 years old so no children of my own for me. I’ve had the privilege of being a stepmom to my husband’s two children and have experienced  all aspects of parenthood in that realm. My stepson lived with us for a few years and I got to truly play the mom role. He texted me this morning and told me Happy Mother’s Day and that he loved me. Melted my heart. Bittersweet.

Here’s the sweet part of the bittersweet….each one of us girls know one very important fact; God’s got our back. He tells us in His Word that He will never leave us or forsake us when we put our faith and trust in Him. The four of us have done just that and that is how we all have and are making it through the bittersweet of life. Fixing our eyes on Jesus and embracing His promises and love.

Bittersweet? Nah, just good ol’ sweet.

Embracing the moment…

Whitney,our oldest dog, well, I call her my “girl” is sitting here beside my chair drooling over my bowl of mac and cheese. Not just any mac and cheese..Kraft Deluxe Mac and Cheese. Yep, there is a difference! I in turn, am drooling over this perfect Thurs. evening!

It’s 7:36 and we, meaning me and our “girls”, are sitting on our small square deck and I’m lovin’ that we have a lap top and I can bring it outside with me. The birds are happily serenading us with their lighthearted spring chirps, just as pleased to savor this perfect spring evening as we are at this moment! Even though we are in a subdivision we are still out in the “country” away from the hub bub of metro Atlanta where me and hubby drive in to work every day. The familiar sound of distant dogs barking and the basketball bouncing across the street as our neighborhood “Globetrotters” are serious about their game, are music to my ears.

Peacefulness, serenity…in my little corner of the world, yet tomorrow is Good Friday and I ponder the significance of the occasion. I may not feel this peaceful feeling in my heart and soul if it were not for the events that took place those three days so many years ago. I am grateful for the grace and love that abounds and gives me access to an eternity with my Creator because of the obedience of His Son who dwelled among us in the flesh, experiencing all the emotions we as humans experience in our lives daily. I made the choice to pick up my cross and join Him in His invitation of salvation……and you?

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

13 and a half hours……

One of my close friends has a cross hanging from her rear view mirror in her car. I have never been one to have anything hanging in my view of driving but I thought her cross was pretty neat. I have a small little cross necklace that I have never worn so I retrieved it from my jewelry collection and wrapped the chain around my rear view mirror so it would not hang so low and I was pleased with my tiny cross hanging just below my mirror. I took the time to do this right before I made my trip to TN the weekend before Christmas to attend my niece’s college graduation. Little did I know.

My husband was suppose to make the trip with me but he came down with a nasty chest cold so I took my car and drove the trip alone. I stopped to have it serviced before I left town and the service tech showed me that one of my tires was going flat and they found a nail in the tire and fixed it! That would have not been fun having a flat on the interstate!

The trip from home was solid hard rain that turned into snow once I got into TN and the roads were quickly covered in snow and ice. I was doing pretty well driving carefully remembering everything my Dad had taught me about driving on snow and ice until I came to a dead stand still on Interstate 81. I’m talking a turn the car off not moving at all standstill. After about 2 hours of this I became concerned and a little anxious with some frustration building up. I had not eaten much that day and fortunately did have some water in the car. Drinking water means having to eventually empty the bladder and I ended up doing that right on the interstate along with everyone else stuck on the road with me! (It pays to always keep some napkins in your car!) I was relieved when we finally started moving again, making calls to my hubby and to my sister informing them both that I was on my way now and should be there in a while. That turned out to be short lived when we came to another dead stop and ended up turning my engine off once again so as not to use up my gas. I was surrounded by tractor trailer trucks, families traveling with little kids and dogs and eventually everyone was getting out of their cars walking the kids and the dogs, making snowmen and having snowball fights. Once again, a few hours later we were moving! I made the phone calls again and announced that we were finally moving and I was on my way!

Well, that lasted a whole 4 or 5 mins. til it was another dead stand still. I’m sure I was not alone in feeling exasperated by this time! My car was once again turned off and my lights out as I was getting anxiously weary of this whole ordeal.Then the car behind me as it was turning off their lights hit the brights and lit up my little cross on my mirror. Suddenly a peace overwhelmed me and my anxiety went away. I knew I was not alone in my car and that it may take awhile but I would eventually get to my destination and get there safely. I was being looked after and protected by my Father in heaven and remembered all the verses in His Word that assured me of that protection. After all He had already taken care of my tire!

I had a blanket, my winter coat, a sweater and an extra pair of thick socks I had thrown in the car. So I wrapped up good and warm, got the flashlight from my glove compartment and read a book I had in the car for awhile, interestingly titled ” What Southern Women Know About Faith”  . I took a nap, prayed for everybody I know, texted my niece, Sabrina, who was also just sitting on another interstate not far from home and updating my hubby and sis. I told them all that this would pass and eventually me and Sabrina would make it to our destination safely.

We started moving again and I knew I was not far from my exit when my sister called and told me Sabrina had made it home safe but my exit was closed and she could see the traffic on my interstate totally stopped, well duh! So she told me to get off 2 exits before that one. When I could see that my exit was only 1 and a half miles up the road I got very excited and then…we stopped dead still again! ARGH!! So close! I called once again and told her of my saga. My poor sister was agonizing over the fact that she was in a nice warm home with a fire going and hot food waiting for me and she felt so helpless!

We started moving in the left lane while the right lane was motionless. I was afraid I would miss the exit so when I got a chance I squeezed into the right lane at an angle between a tractor trailer and a truck that were sitting still. The left lane was still moving and we were not but there was an opening to my right that I thought I could slip through to get to my exit that was so close! I got out of the car to check it out only to find out there were tractor trailers blocking the whole path! I was stuck “between a rock and a hard place”! When I looked down the road where the cars were moving I noticed a couple of vehicles jumped into the right lane and got off the interstate. I’m that close to my exit!! I called my sister and told her my situation and said “just pray!” We hung up and I started looking behind me thinking these cars that are moving are not going to stop just to let me back my car out and get back in that moving lane, not with the frustrations levels being so high and they are moving! All of a sudden a tractor trailer was having trouble getting up the incline and there was an opening!!!! I immediately backed out into the left lane and in an instant I ducked in front of a sitting truck and was on the exit ramp!!!!!!!!! I started screaming “did You just do that God?!!!!!! You got me out of that mess just like that?!!!!!!”

I called my sister squealing on the phone “I’m on the exit! I’m on the exit!!” She squealed back to me, “we just got through saying” in the name of Jesus Christ,amen!!!” It was a little hairy getting to her home from there as she directed me in and at one point I was looking down on the interstate I just left and sure enough they were all just sitting still, not moving again. I felt so bad for all of them and said a prayer for them as I approached a plowed road that took me safely to my sister’s street. There is quite a hill that leads to my sister’s home and I was having trouble trying to get up that hill. So I called her again to tell her I was at the bottom of her street and was just going to park the car there and walk up. I looked up and here she comes walking down the hill with the most determined walk I have ever seen! She walked up to my car as I opened the door and said in an anxious voice “GET OUT!!’ I’m gettin’ this car up that hill, I didn’t live in
Detroit in this weather all those years for nothing!! You gonna ride?” I threw my hands up in the air and said no, you go for it! She hit the gas pedal and spun those tires and slid back and forth all the way up that hill with the smell of rubber filling the air! A 4 wheel drive truck with young people offered to help get us up but we all just watched as my determined sis accomplished her mission. They couldn’t believe she made it! She came back down the hill to walk up with me and we got in my car and pulled into their driveway a few houses down safe and sound. We walked into her cozy warm home and the three of us  girls just started squealing with delight that I was finally there!! It was 2 AM and I left home at 12:30 that afternoon.Thirteen and a half hours! Usually a 4 and a half hour trip. My brother in law settled us down and said “we need to pray and thank God for getting you both here safe!” And we did just that and prayed for everyone’s safety still sitting out there in that mess.

I was tired and my body was weary as I sat there and lavished a bowl of warm homemade soup,  just happy to be at my sister’s home. My brother in law and I walked out to my car to get my stuff and as I leaned over the front seat, that little cross caught my eye and I immediately thought of all the events that happened that day that kept me safe!

I laid my head down on my pillow that night ( well,morning) for some much needed rest and thanked God for His protection and answering our prayers!

Yes, we serve a mighty and caring Father!

a sweet companion

Finally, in the third year of our marriage my husband confessed to me that he was not that crazy about having a rabbit as a pet and wanted a dog. Yep, I had  a potty trained bunny that had reign of the condo just like a cat. I don’t think hubby ever really got accustomed to having a rabbit sitting on the couch with us when we watched TV. So we found a home for Binky the bunny. Hubby spent many days at the shelter until he called me at work one day and enthusiastically  announced that I would meet our new dog when I arrived home that afternoon!

She was beautiful, this one year old mix of golden retriever/spitz. A gorgeous long blonde coat with a fluffy tail that turned up and a beautiful mane with the most precious face. She  had been picked up by animal control because she was being abused by her first family. They had named her Simba because she looked like the cub in the movie The Lion King. It took us a while to gain her trust but once she sensed our immediate love for her she bonded deeply with the two of us and we three began a beautiful relationship. She was truly part of our family, especially to me since I can not have children and I started calling her “my girl”. When my friends would talk about their children, I would talk about mine.

My husband took a new job that required he work nights and me and Simba became really close since it was just the two of us every night and on weekends too. I knew when I walked past the window in our condo she was right there wagging her tail and barking at me..” Mom! You’re home!!” We cherished our walks around the neighborhood and she was always greeted with compliments on how beautiful she was and she loved it. I remember once I had her groomed and they shaved off her beautiful coat. She was so embarrassed that she held her head down when you looked at her. I felt so bad that I never did that to her again. I have learned so much from her over the years and she has touched many other lives as well. My aunt and uncle used to take care of her when we went out of town and they hated to see her leave them.

She knew my moods and when I was having a bad day  she would come put her paw on my leg and just look up at me with her dark little eyes saying more than any words a person could say to me. We watched many movies together, played lots of ball together and took car rides and she would hang her head out the window and let the wind blow her hair back. I never imagined that day she and I first met that we would become so close, that she would be my little companion.

Today, I look on the table beside our laptop and there sits a receipt from the vet.

Date 11/23/2009    Euthanasia With Disposal-Canine Simba………

and my eyes fill with tears of sadness. It was one of the hardest things my husband and I have ever had to do. Our precious companion was over 14 years old and was struggling to get up and down our steps to go out. When we tried to help her she would bite at us. She was in pain. She had lost weight and could not see very well any more. She would forget where she was when she went outside. She would sometimes lay in the floor and groan.

The vet reassured us we were doing the right thing, I sure hope so.

Simba, my sweet companion, you deeply touched and changed my life. I will forever keep you close in my heart and be grateful for the gift God blessed us with for over 13 wonderful years.

Thank you, God, for creating dogs and the relationship they have with man.

 

whats fair?

I walked into my little friend’s  hospital room at Children’s Healthcare one afternoon only to see her Mom slumped over in a chair with her chin in the palm of her hand and a scorned look on her face as she stared wearily into her laptop computer. As I approached her to see where her mind was I saw her computer screen displaying her face book account. She looked up at me with those deep dark eyes that at the moment were filled with sadness and envy. “It’s not fair”, she simply stated, “it’s just not fair.” I didn’t have to even ask what wasn’t fair, she didn’t give me a chance as she blurted out that a couple of her friends commented how much fun they were having with their children at the beach.

“Why can’t that be me?!” Why is it always them?!” “Why do I have to be in this hospital room all the time with my baby who has cancer and is getting chemo treatments?!”

Whew!! How was I suppose to answer that when she looked up at me with anticipation of an answer, or at least I felt I should have one for her the way she looked at me.

It killed me inside knowing that I could not fix it for her or wiggle my nose and poof she and her baby girl would be at the beach instead of in the confined walls of that small hospital room. Or even that I could  make the cancer not be there at all. I can’t truly know exactly how she feels because I have never experienced having a child of my own that lay helpless in a hospital bed fighting for her life as she is being attacked by an awful disease. I just know what  I see as my friend wears the transparency of her emotions on her sleeve because she can no longer contain them and be the more private person that is normal for her.

All I could think to say is let God know how you feel because I know that He hurts just as deeply with you and life is not always about being fair. There are no right or good answers in a situation like that, the best one I can think of is that if you know Jesus and the truth of His Word then you have faith and trust to overcome those kind of emotions.

I’m not saying it will make it any easier when you see your friends comment on facebook about their fun times on the beach with their kids. I’m just saying that when our hearts are so full of pain that we feel like we can’t take it anymore, we can fix our eyes on Jesus and if we give our emotions over to Him we can truly feel Him place the warm loving palm of His Hand under our chin and tell us to come to Him when we are weary and burdened and He will give us rest and we will find rest for our souls. (Matt. 11:28)

Then my friend can take in a deep sigh, letting go of those weary thoughts and see a vision in her mind of playing with her little girl on the beach, laughing as her little feet run from the chasing waves and into her mommy’s arms. Daddy will be there with video camera in hand, filming the whole scene…..to put on facebook.

writng a bio…..

I am suppose to write a bio of myself for our writer/speaker group, She Disciples.

Should I write about my early 20′s having part ownership and driving a race car and that crazy lifestyle which sadly displeased my Dad? About getting hit on a motorcycle by a drunk driver and breaking both my legs and my back and my mangled leg that took four surgeries  and two years before walking on my own again?Then needing more surgery 35 years later? How about experiencing both of my parents dying at young ages and watching my 2 year old niece getting killed in a car accident? Should I add that I have had three failed marriages, the first one ending in physical and mental abuse and two others in adultery? Oh yeah, and what about my history of abortion and losing a couple of babies and then having to have an emergency hysterectomy and never being able to have any children at all and the guilt that I have endured over that?? And a couple of other things that I will keep private because I don’t even want to talk about them?

Oh, and what about getting immediately addicted to crack cocaine when my Dad died because I didn’t think I could take another breath of life without him whom I became so attached to after Mom’s death. I had no idea the man I was dating was a drug dealer and “had something that would make me feel better.” The next two years of my life I spent living with the devil on my tail as I pursued this life of drugs, losing a good job and my integrity and most of all pushing my Christian upbringing way down in the pit of my soul.

Then discovering at the brink of an overdose of drugs and alcohol that, after reaching up to God from the pit of my soul and begging Him to take my life, He had a plan for me to live and sent me help that got me into a rehab program. Even then it was several years later before I realized that I never had a true relationship with Jesus and asked Him for the first time to come into my life as my Lord and Savior and discovered a new life! I discovered that there is no high like the Most High and that His plan was for me to share my story with many people. That as long as I followed the path He has intended for me, He will give me opportunities to be used by Him.

How He gave me the verse, Joel 2:25 when I was so overcome with guilt from living such a life of sin away from Him when I could have been used by Him all those lost years.

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten…”

How in my life now I am daily overwhelmed with the power of Jesus working in my life and using me in ways I never imagined! How He has given me a passion for His faithful and truthful Word that guides me in my every day life. I now have constant communication with my Heavenly Father because of what His Son did for me on the cross.

That now when I raise my hands up to God it is not in desperation but in grateful praise that He loves me so deep that He will never leave me or forsake me, that no matter what I go through in this life He will be with me giving me strength to get through it. Whew! Praise the Lord!!!!!

Oh wait, a bio must be just a few short sentences describing myself. How about..

I once was lost but now I’m found. Pretty much sums it up for me!!

Thank you, Jesus!!

a new awareness………

I have spent much time in a place that I pass each day on my way into work but never really knew until recently what all existed behind the brick walls of the building that I only see from the outside.

My precious little friend, Regan Eva, has spent much of the four months of her life in a hospital bed at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta on the Emory campus. I work on the campus so it has become somewhat of a routine for me to pop over to see her and her Mom and my close friend, Kristin, frequently when I get off work. Regan just received her third chemo therapy treatment for her retinoblastoma that has resided in her little brain and eyes since birth. I have lost count of her blood transfusions. I have been overwhelmed with emotion each time I walk the halls of this children’s hospital and see so many sick little children and their family members coping with whatever disease they are having to face and deal with on a daily basis. A disease that has over taken their normal lives and formed a routine of daily function much different than they ever dreamed when they held their precious child in their arms at birth daydreaming of a future of fun times and precious memories.

It has humbled me beyond belief and stricken me with a depth of grief that I didn’t know a women who has no children of her own could ever experience.

(Hang on, give me a minute to pull it back together to continue writing)

This new awareness had already made enough of an impact on me that I thought I was beginning to deal with it okay until a couple of weeks ago I was walking through the halls of the hospital on my way to Regan’s room when the overhead intercom system sounded off a “code blue”. My first thought, being in the medical profession for so many years, was oh no someone has gone into cardiac arrest again. I got off the elevators to see doctors and the code team running down the hall when it dawned on me…..I am in a children’s hospital! A CHILD has arrested!!!!!!!!!  A CHILD!!!

(hold on again,my eyes are welling up with tears)

When I got to Regan’s room her nurse was in there and I asked her if that code blue meant the same here as in the hospital and she looked up at me with a sadness in her eyes and said yes. I asked her if that happened often and she responded with a heaviness in her voice, more than we want it to.

I felt a tightness in my chest and a buckling in my knees for a moment and could not speak. The nurse looked over at me as she was adjusting that precious little baby in her crib and gave me a look of understanding my feelings.

It was an event that has made an everlasting imprint on my heart.

excuse me, are you………..

This was delivered in my email in box and I thought it too good not to share on my blog, especially this time of the season.

This made me stop and think and maybe it will brighten your day!

‘Excuse me, are you Jesus?’

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night’s dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding. ALL BUT ONE !!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor. He was glad he did. The 16-year-old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight. The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket. When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, ‘Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?’ She nodded through her tears.. He continued on with, ‘I hope we didn’t spoil your day too badly.’ As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, ‘Mister….’ He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, ‘Are you Jesus?’ He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: ‘Are you Jesus?’ Do people mistake you for Jesus? That’s our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace. If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church It’s actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day. You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

Please share this, {IF you feel led to do so}. Sometimes we just take things for granted, when we really need to be sharing what we know…Thanks. Have a great day!

Happy Easter!

Thank you ,Jesus for givingYour life for us so that we may have eternal life with You when we accept You as our Savior!